


As Cute as You and Me (The Tsumversal Remix)

by Veldeia



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tsum Tsums, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Stuffed Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 23:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17887538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veldeia/pseuds/Veldeia
Summary: Before leaving for his next business trip, Tsum-Tony gives Tsum-Steve a pair of strange apes dressed up as Captain America and Iron Man to keep him company.





	As Cute as You and Me (The Tsumversal Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SmileAndASong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Plush Slugs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6952159) by [SmileAndASong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/pseuds/SmileAndASong). 
  * In response to a prompt by [SmileAndASong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/pseuds/SmileAndASong) in the [2019_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2019_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness) collection. 



> This is a kind of role reversal remix of [SmileAndASong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/profile)’s very cute story [Plush Slugs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6952159), which definitely put a smile on my face—I hope this very cracky little ficlet will do the same! ｡^‿^｡

Feeling apprehensive, Steve inched forwards until he came to rest right next to the cage, his button of a nose almost touching the metal rungs.

“Tony—what the hell is that thing?”

The creature in the cage was without doubt one of the ugliest things Steve had ever set his round blue eyes on. Around the height of Steve’s face, it was some kind of an animal, like a monkey, with those disturbingly long limbs that were completely disproportionate to its otherwise tiny body. It was clearly dressed up as Iron Man, and the costume was skillfully made and full of detail, its metallic surface gleaming red and gold. There was even an arc reactor in its chest, lit up like the real thing. The creature wasn’t wearing a helmet, revealing its uncanny face. Instead of the lovely soft plush that covered Tony’s body, this strange little lookalike seemed to have patches of coarse dark bristles as its hair and beard. The rest of its face was a very pale shade of pink and entirely hairless. Poor thing.

“Don’t you recognize Iron Man when you see him? Look at how cute he is,” Tony cooed.

“I see who he’s supposed to be, but what is he? Some kind of monkey?” Steve demanded.

“Not just any monkey!” Tony exclaimed, affronted. “He’s a very rare type of ape: a Homo sapiens, also known as a human. They’re supposed to be quite smart, you can teach them all kinds of tricks. I’ve heard they can even learn to speak simple words and sentences!”

Steve sighed and shook his head. “Tony. Why couldn’t you just get a kitten or a puppy like any normal person would?”

“And leave mini-me in the pet shop where any irresponsible hoodlum could buy him? No way! These are unique individuals. They will keep you company while I’m away on my trip, and I expect you to take good care of them,” Tony explained. He seemed dead serious, his upper body raised off the ground so he could gesture with his cute little hands.

“Wait. Them? You mean there’s more than one?” Steve groaned, looking around, half expecting an entire horde of spindly little Tonys to crawl out of the woodwork like some kind of pests.

“You wouldn’t want tiny-Tony to be all alone, would you?” Tony said accusingly. Without waiting for Steve’s answer, he hopped onto the bed to pick up something that had been hidden from sight behind it: another cage.

In the second cage was—Steve.

The Steve-ape resembled Captain America just like the tiny-Tony resembled Iron Man. It had a costume that had been meticulously crafted to look like Steve’s, down to the cowl, the shield on its back and the star on its front, but because its proportions were so bizarre, Steve found it nightmarish rather than cute. The most off-putting part were the eyes. They were small and beady, glaring at him like they saw right into his soul and judged him unworthy. Unlike the Tony-creature, who seemed docile enough, this miniature Steve clearly had an attitude. It had grabbed the rungs of its cage with its creepy long-fingered hands, rattling them and growling, as Tony carried it across the room and set the cage next to tiny-Tony’s.

When the two apes saw each other, they started chattering excitedly and hurried to where the edges of their cages met. They reached across the space separating them with their freakish arms, clasping each other’s hands.

“See? They’re just like us! So sweet together,” Tony said. He turned towards Steve to press a fluffy kiss on his cheek.

XXXXX

Tony held on to Steve’s hands, incredibly relieved. “You okay? I was starting to get worried.”

When the huge plush creature that looked disturbingly like Tony had taken Steve away, he’d hoped for the best and feared the worst. These giant, fluffy, cylindrical versions of them didn’t seem malicious, but they were so deeply alien, it was difficult to know what to expect.

“I’m fine. He just cuddled me and put me back in the cage,” Steve said, squeezing Tony’s hands reassuringly. Tony thought he looked somewhat shaken, and couldn’t blame him for that. Being cuddled by a massive plush slug double of your boyfriend had to be disturbing on so many levels. In fact, that sent Tony’s thoughts to all kinds of off-putting directions, wondering about the physiology of these odd beings, which was something he was probably happier not knowing too much about.

“Can you understand what they’re saying?” Steve changed the subject.

The two creatures were clearly having a conversation, but to Tony’s ears, every word just sounded like “tsum,” spoken in deep, rumbling voices.

“Nope,” he replied. “I’ve got to say, out of everything we’ve seen in the multiverse, this really takes the cake.”


End file.
